Sincerity

Girls often ask (or try) guys a lot in the aspect of sincerity. The Filipino way of starting romantic relationships is through courtship. More often than not, men who ask out girls are often plagued by women’s questions on whether they are sincere or not.

What do they really mean when they ask about sincerity? One definition goes this way, “Sincerity is generally understood to be truth in word and act.” This means whatever is in a person’s mind and heart, that is what he speaks about and how he acts out.

I can’t really go on discussing about what the word is, but I definitely know what it is not. Over time, I have come through misconceptions about the word. People seem to equate it to things that it is not. Here are some:

  • Sincerity is not necessarily doing the right thing. You can be sincere but sincerely wrong. Case in point: religious cults. A more contextualized case in point: relationships that God forbids, but still people go on coz they’re ‘sincere’…the feeling is real.
  • Sincerity is not necessarily being too outspoken or emotional. There are people who are not so open about relationships but are sincere. There are also people who fill Facebook with their romantic shoutouts but are not really true about what they feel. What I know is this: no matter how outspoken or not a person is, as long as what he feels and thinks is consistent with what he expresses, that’s sincerity. The person may have reasons for not (excessively) shouting it out to the world. However, anything that fills the heart will overflow to words and actions. Eventually, it will.
  • Sincerity is not necessarily determined by your track record. For people who have played around before, others might not trust them, no matter how sincere they are this time. They will think that the ‘sincerity’ is an isolated case. And be careful with goody-two-shoes. They also have a tendency to be insincere this time. It’s really difficult to determine which is which. Though it’s not really about your track record, there is something to be said about your lifestyle. What have you used to doing? People who are insincere and want to change usually find it difficult to get their act together.

There are many questions and misconceptions about the word. (I think I’d be ending prematurely here, but anyway…) Sincerity is a virtue. No matter what we think it is, it is still important when we start, nurture and maintain relationships with people, especially with romantic ones.

But for me, sincerity in relationships is something like this: It is knowing that what you feel is true, that the feelings are founded on what you believe is right, and that your expression of what is right and true is appropriate, that the expression is seen appropriately by others, and that the expression that you know others see is completely consistent with what you think and feel in the first place.

That’s quite long. Let’s just stick with the first definition: “Sincerity is generally understood to be truth in word and act.”

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