When Is The Right Time To Date?

No, don’t think it that way. Let’s take it like this: the question just popped up in my mind when I turned on the computer. So of course, I sat down, and on to this writing…

For young people like most of us, this question seem to be very interesting. It really rings a bell, and suddenly, your attention is grappled into this one thing. And the catch is, haha, we forget it after that.

I’m not delving into a comprehensive authoritative lecture about when someone can or must date, however, I want to share my experiences and ideas about it.

Case number 1: A True Love Waits and Boy-Girl Relationship (BGR) Lecturer-Speaker’s Advice

On Valentines’ Day of 2008, the members of the Builders had a program on BGR. I think this is a way of letting us spend our time on something intellectually stimulating than on something superficially sensual on that day.

But then, a respected speaker on the area of BGR and an alumnus of my university spoke on the topic. Aside from other matters he discussed, he recommended a good timeline for good relationships based on experience: start a relationship on your the last year of your schooling, on the last semester. For most degree programs, that’d be 4th year, 2nd sem. He also advised these:

  • Enjoy a long friendship with your prospect. Not romantic, just platonic. He warns of the dangers of getting into a relationship with someone whom you didn’t have a good friendship with: you usually know someone better in casual and intimate friendship since authenticity isn’t blurred by the best-foot-forward tendency.
  • Make the courtship and engangement period short. That’s why he said that it is best to start the relationship at the end of your schooling. Exchanging vows would be imminent as soon as you’re done schooling. He explains that when the relationship isn’t that long, the lesser is the chance for the couple to fall into—you know—violating each other’s purity.

Case Number 2: A Father’s Provision

Let’s make it short: my dad says that I can have a relationship as early as my third year in college.

Wrapping up

Now, as far as I can see, the right time to date varies from person to person. It’s relative, but to some extent of course (I’m not recommending this to fifteen-year-olds who are reading this). But for me, I’m trying to consolidate the thoughts of these two important people, and basically, their advices are what are directing my steps right now.

For me, I think they’re making sense in what they are telling. They’re grown ups and have led successful families out of their relationships. Of course, I’d really love to do so, and I think the example of two families would be enough for a good pattern…

How about you? You might have a good thought to share about this topic. Leave a comment below…


3 thoughts on “When Is The Right Time To Date?

  1. Hi-

    The best advice I can give on dating is this:

    View dating as an interview for marriage (don’t ask someone out just so you’re not alone or because you feel like a third wheel). Discover who you are before you try figuring out someone else. Solicate help from family/friends in the interview process. Sometimes, they know us better than we know ourselves.

    DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT date anyone with different religious beliefs than yours! This is simply an invitation for disaster!

    When you first know that the person is not right for you personally, no matter how much you like them and don’t want to hurt their feelings, it’s better to kindly put an end to dating before each of you invest a lot of time in a failing venture. It is MUCH better being alone than being with the wrong partner. BUT, be kind and gentle if you have to take this step!

    Practice taking care of other people’s kids together so you can determine if your parenting styles will be compatable.

    Finally, when you’ve found the right one, find ways everyday how to tell her that you love her (THIS DOES NOT MEAN SEX!). It will be worth all your effort, I promise. No matter how good the sex is, if that’s all you have to offer each other, your relationship is doomed from the start.

    Have Fun & Good Luck :o)

  2. Thanks….I’ve learned something..!hey, this post is worth reading..I’ll tell my friends about it…I do admire your attitudes toward dating. It is obvious that you are the kind of person who never ceases to please God.

    Keep it up! Godspeed..

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