We often think love is when you fall helplessly for someone. It may be at first sight. It may be after years of friendship. It just spiralled out of control, and now, you find yourself madly in love with someone.
We buy this notion a lot. When we love, it’s more than just conscious thought. The pheromones, the hormones, the nonverbal behavior, the scent, the touch, the energy—these are all at work as someone becomes dearer and dearer to us.
But the past few years have taught me that, although unseen forces sway our feelings, love is a choice.
When we love, we choose to love. It is a conscious decision to go with the unseen forces that make up our emotional, intellectual and physical systems. It can also be a conscious decision to go against it. When the situation tells you not to love, but you still do, it’s because you chose.
Love is a choice. And the ultimate manifestation of love as a choice is commitment.
Love is a commitment.
It isn’t just about what you feel at the moment. It isn’t about the forces that surround you. It isn’t about what the circumstances call for.
You see, you can choose to love, and then the next day, you choose not to. You may have reasons. Your man cheated. Or your wife suddenly got amnesia. Your child betrayed the family.
In these cases, circumstances tell you, the cost of loving outweighs the benefits of loving. That’s when the ultimate choice to love comes in the form of commitment.
You commit. You declared it, and now you stand by it.
Whether you’re badly hurt, or your emotions run dry, when it seems so illogical and counterintuitive to stay, that’s when love manifests itself in its most profound form: a conscious choice.
When all the world pushes for equality, practicality, cynicism, independence, and justice—you see, these are not bad values and philosophies—you choose to love.
Love is a choice.